Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Menu Planning - 2/24

I know I am a little late this week, but here is what we are eating for dinner this week. It's not very inventive, but I am just too worn out from house selling and house buying.

Monday - Dinner out at my mom's favorite restaurant

Tuesday - Leftover from that yummy dinner

Wednesday - Big salads (use up all the veggies I have in the fridge and it's quick and easy)

Thursday - Basil Caesar Mahi Mahi (didn't make it last week)

Friday - Either pizza or breakfast for dinner (pancakes and eggs)

Have a good week everyone!

Monday, February 22, 2010

I miss my mommy

***Warning, this is not for the faint of heart.***

Yes, I am going to be a Debbie Downer today, but since it's raining and crummy weather here, I feel like it's ok. 3 years ago today my mom lost her battle with cancer and passed away. She died peacefully in her sleep at our family house early that morning (around 7:00am). I was there. I had spent the last 6 days living back home to help my family take care of my mom and to be with my mom during her last days. I remember it all like it was yesterday. I usually suppress those memories most of the year, but every January, they creep back in. She died on a Thursday. The Friday before that my dad asked if I would spend the night at the house to help him with my mom during the middle of the night and give my youngest sister the night off because she was still living at home (just graduated from college weeks before) and was helping my dad. We found out in late January that the cancer had come back and spread to her liver. Once the cancer spreads to the liver, there is not much you can do. It is pretty much a death sentence. The doctor gave her 3-6 months to live (she lived for 30 days). Adam and I spent the night that Friday night and then after that, I never left because she was getting worse. My mom had spent a lot of time in hospitals so she wanted her last days to be in her home, so while she/we had hospice care, they brought everything to the house and that is where she spent her last days. The hospice service we used was amazing. I have never met such caring people in my life. They brought a hospital bed in for my mom when she was too sick to use stairs (all the bedrooms are upstairs). They delivered all her meds and when she too sick to swallow, they transferred all her meds to liquids so we could keep her comfortable. We could call them at any hour if there was anything wrong with my mom. But they also had counselors for us, which was very nice. They had someone who would come by everyday and talk to us, ask us how we feel, and let us know what to expect. They also had a bereavement counselor that stayed with us for 13 months after my mom passed for counseling.

The Saturday before she passed, things got very bad and we thought we were going to lose her that day. She was always a fighter through, and held on for another 5 days. I remember I woke up early that morning (sleeping was very hard to do anyway). Adam had not spent the night that night (the first for him) because he needed to let the dog out and since it was so late, he was going to sleep at our house that night. I woke up early on that Thursday morning (around 7:00am) and listened. My mom had an oxygen machine to help her breathe easily and it was pretty loud, so I was listening to hear if the machine was still on (meaning she was still alive). I heard it. I thought instead of getting up, I would try to sleep some more so I could function (a couple nights before I hadn't slept at all and it was awful). Some 30 minutes later my dad came in my room (my old room) and told me that my mom had passed. My aunt was sleeping downstairs with her that night (the liquid meds have to administered every 2-3 hours). She had given my mom meds at 6:30am and she was still breathing. My dad had that same duty the night before. When he was on duty, he set her watch alarm to go off. He hadn't turned it off so his watch went off at 7:00am (the last time he had given her meds). Well that's what woke him up that Thursday morning. He went downstairs and when he went in, she was not breathing. He got out a stethoscope and checked, and she had passed. He gave her one last kiss and then went upstairs to tell his daughters. I immediately called Adam and he was back over within minutes.

Yes, I still think about it often. I had a wonderful relationship with my mom and can't believe that I can function without her in my life. I used to talk to her daily. She was an amazing woman; she was smart, level headed, funny, athletic, financially savvy, and the best mother a daughter could have. We (her children) were everything to her. I know she misses us too. I know she is watching us. I am grateful for the all the time I did have with her (27 years), but I am also so sad and angry (yes, still) that she has not been here for others. Yes, she was there to watch me get married, but she wasn't there for the Hope's birth. She wanted to be a grandmother so bad, but never once pressured me into having a family before I was ready. I know in my heart that she gave me Hope. Hope's middle name, Cecile, was my mom's middle name. My mom was not there for my youngest sister's wedding, and I know that bothered her a lot. We had a heart to heart right before the wedding and she was very upset that mom wasn't there.

I guess in closing, please think about me and my family on this terrible day. We are all chugging through, some days are better than others.

Here are a few pictures of my mom.

My mom and me (I am 1 year).

My mom and dad (Adam and I) at our rehearsal dinner. I was giving them a gift as a thank you for everything they had done. It was a fun evening with a lot of laughing. Not sure what we are laughing at at this moment, but from my mom's face, it must have been pretty funny.

Here is my family on my wedding day. My mom's dress was beautiful and she had finished chemo months ago and her hair had gone back and she even had it cut the day of the wedding. That was a big deal for her.

Here is a picture of my mom on her 50th birthday. Unfortunately, she was in the hospital on her 50th, but the good news was she was cancer free (she had had surgery a few days before). I used to spend the night with her in the hospital because I was the smallest and the one who could easily fit in the chair. But I have to say, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I wanted to be there to take care of her and help her in any way possible. My dad had to take her of the rest of the family, so he couldn't do it. I guess it was my mother instincts kicking in a little early. So I woke up early that morning and decorated her room for her.

This is the saddest picture for me. Adam and I used to (well still do) take self portraits while on vacation. We would come back and have tons of pictures where we were both in them. In January, before my mom had gotten the bad news, my parents took a trip to Key West. During the trip, they tried to perfect the self portrait. You can see here that the self portrait has no background. They took this self portrait in the hotel room. Suck dorks! But they both look very happy, and that is what is important.

I am not sure if I will get out my menu planning today, but I can tell you I will be dining tonight at my mom's favorite restaurant, Aldo's. She loved that place.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Eating and Exercise - 2/17

So most of my eating logs are on days when I am either not working or working from home, so I have access to my kitchen all day. So I thought I would give you an idea of what my eating looks like on a day when I do work.

I started the day with some nonfat plain greek yogurt and mixed in some mango and some frozen raspberries along with a tablespoon or 2 of slivered almonds. And of course my travel mug of coffee with skim milk.

I had a doctor's appointment during lunch, so I had a midmorning snack - a granola bar and another mug of coffee.

My late lunch consisted of an ab&j (almond butter and jelly) on whole wheat bread and a pear.

I did have a bite of a king cake (not pictured), but it was only a bite, so I feel pretty about my restraint. And then I had planned on having a snack, but I knew it was getting late and I wasn't going to be able to get my run in (looking for a house is exhausting), so I didn't have my afternoon snack and just made dinner instead.
Dinner consisted of healthy crab cakes (broiled, not fried), spicy peanut noodles (yum) and "fried" zuchinni (baked not fried again).

I was very full and pretty upset about a house that I had found and then found it that it went under contract last evening. Too upset to eat ice cream, which I probably shouldn't have anyway, but I am still getting over that the first house I had found since we have been looking is off the market. I am still bumming around.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Menu Planning - 2/17

I know I am a little late in posting this, but better late than never. So I am feeling some seafood this week, so I bought some crab and mahi mahi fillet and can't wait to cook them both (separately). Last night, I ended up eating out with my MIL so I have had to change a little bit of what I was planning on making this week, but it works out fine.

Mon - Leftover tomato veggie soup, bread, chicken for Adam
Tues – Out to dinner with MIL

Wed – Healthy crab cakes, spicy peanut noodles, "fried" zuchinni

Thur – Basil caesar mahi mahi, apple salad, roasted broccoli

Fri – Vegetable korma (Feb. Vegetarian Times mag)

Have a good rest of the week everyone!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Eating and Exercising - 2/11

Well exercising today was rest. It's just too much for me to try to add in some exercise when I am working from home and watching Hope (with help of course). Tomorrow I plan to do a 5 mile tempo run and I have already made plans with a treadmill, because it's supposed to snow and I can't take Hope out in that.

So for breakfast, I started out with a grapefruit and a piece of whole wheat toast with some almond butter on it and my decaf coffee with skim milk. Gotta love the coffee.

For lunch, I finished off the refried beans with another bean burrito. Here is a picture of the burrito before I rolled it up (refried beans, cheddar cheese, and some chiptole sauce on a high fiber 7 inch tortilla).

All rolled up and heated with a side of my leftover shepherd's pie from the Vegetarian Times magazine (not my favorite thing in the world, but I don't want to waste food).

Dessert was some Valentine candy my mother-in-law gave me. I had to try all 3 kinds. And then I tried all 3 kinds again. :)

For a snack, I finished off the rest of the Goldfish graham crackers that Hope and I had been eating this week. I know it's not good to eat out of the bag, but there weren't too many left, so I figured I would just eat the rest.

Dinner was Mexican Casserole from the Cooking Light magazine (so yummy, btw) with a dollup of fat free greek yogurt and some corn. And again, this is on a salad plate so it looks more filling.

I guess it wasn't too filling because I was still pretty hungry after dinner, so I had to go ahead and make myself some ice cream. Hope and I shared some Breyer's Light Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. Soooo good! My favorite. I am trying to not have dessert when I don't work out, but I was really hungry tonight. :)

So that was my meals for the day. Good night everyone.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Rain, rain, go away!

I feel like every time I want to run, it rains. It is awful! It has actually stopped raining, I think. I am giving it another 30 minutes and if there is still no more rain, I think I am going to take Hope out for a quick run (3 miles or so). The rain is just bad when you have a little one and no treadmill. I can't wait for our next house, we have already decided we are getting a treadmill. We both can't wait!!!

Menu Planning - 2/9/10

I wasn't feeling well yesterday so while I did figure out the meals for the week, I didn't get around to posting it. Here is what I am thinking this week.

Monday - Leftovers, soup (spicy sun-dried tomato and veggie soup) and cheese toast
Tuesday - Shepherd's pie (from Vegetarian Times magazine), salad
Wednesday - Cottage cheese and noodles, peas
Thursday - Mexican Casserole (from Cooking Light magazine), don't know what side yet
Friday - ?

Have a good week.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Pretty good, dessert

I ate one small sugar cookie Friday night. Pretty good for me, because I am a huge dessert fan. Of course, Adam and I have gotten Hope's cold and feel pretty bad, so I didn't work out at all this weekend. :( I am hoping I will feel better on Monday so I can get an easy run in on the treadmill.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Eating and Exercising - 2/5/10

Another day and I decided to log my food for y'all again. Basically, I have gained a few pounds since I have stopped breastfeeding, and I want it off. And, I feel guilty that I haven't posted since Monday.

So this morning, Hope only ate about half her breakfast (oatmeal), so I ate some of hers (not pictured) then I ate a grapefruit sprinkled with a little bit of sugar.

And of course, my cup(s) of decaf coffee with skim milk. Yum! Best part of my morning.

For lunch, I made a bean burrito with refried beans, monterey cheese, and chiptole pepper. I put this burrito on a salad plate and my tortilla was a 7 inch, so I kept it small.

Couldn't decide what to eat after my burrito, so I had some honey greek yogurt and pretzels. It's a great way to end a meal with something sweet and it's high in protein too.

It rained all day and was very yucky outside (38 degrees and rain), so instead I did a 30-Day Shed of the the tv (Exercise TV from Comcast OnDemad) and I bought some Finger Paint and let her made Adam a birthday card.

I did not have an afternoon snack for 2 reasons. I had to make some pasta salad for Adam's tennis match tomorrow, so I did eat a little of it while I was making it (have to taste as I go because I don't measure things like this).

I also had a small bite of guyre cheese while I was making dinner.

Here is the salad I had for dinner. Now this is on dinner plate. I had planned on having both my salad and the rest on the same plate, but the casserole took a little longer to bake, so I ate my salad first. Mixed greens with green bell peppers, celery, and tomatoes with a light italian dressing.

Dinner - Rosti casserole with baked eggs (Cooking Light magazine)

My portion - one egg and maybe a little extra of the other stuff. It was ok. I think my portion had a lot of turnips in it and the flavor was a little strong for me. I had a little of Hope's and it was better. Not sure this recipe will be on my every week recipe list, but it was pretty good. If you like turnips, then you will love it I am sure.
Ok, so I was supposed run 5 miles today but it was just too yucky outside, there was no way. I didn't even want to go to the gym and run because I would have to take Hope outside and she is still battling a cold. Because of that, my goal is to not have dessert tonight (Adam's birthday is tomorrow and you won't believe the cake I bought for him). I will do a quick post tomorrow, to let you know if I was able to fight off dessert (if you know me, you know dessert is my weakness).

Monday, February 1, 2010

Menu Planning - 2/1

Ok, so I have so many cookbooks and magazines right now about cooking, it's almost overload (almost). This week I am doing a combination of recipes from Cooking Light and Vegetarian Times. It's recipes from the most recent issues, so they are not online yet, but I am sure they will be. I will let you know where I am getting them from and if you wait a week or so, hopefully they will be online. Here is what I am thinking of this week.

Monday - Gnocchi
Tuesday - Spicy Moroccan stewed fish with couscous (Cooking Light)
Wednesday - Spicy sun-dried tomato soup with white beans and swiss chard (Vegetarian Times)
Thursday - Sicilian style roasted veggies in balsamic syrup (Vegetarian Times)
Friday - Rosti casserole with baked eggs (Cooking Light)

Have a good week everyone!