Friday, January 29, 2010

Bittersweet Symphony

Yeah, I like the song. It's good for running, pumps me up. But this blog entry is not about running. It's about breastfeeding. Shortly after Hope turned 15 months, she didn't want to nurse one time in the middle of the day (she was nursing 2-3 times a day at this point). Then the next night, she didn't want to nurse before bed. That was shocking! Hope had never refused the boob before, especially before bed. This is the same child who even at 12 months, wouldn't unlatch on her own. The next day she went back to nursing. But since then she started to self wean. One night she just stopped and hasn't nursed since.

When I was pregnant, I thought my goal was 12 months. Then when Hope was 6 months old, I found nursing to be a bonding time and thought I would nurse as long as she wanted to. Then when Hope was 9 months old, I heard from the lactation consultant at my office. She said not to stop breastfeeding during the horrible cold and flu season. Adam was not on board with this. He thought it was one and done kind of a thing. I think he was a little jealous, but he wouldn't admit to it. We also want to try for more children and while breastfeeding, I wasn't having a cycle, hence no possible way for me to get pregnant. So my goal was to nurse until Hope was 16 months old (Valentine's Day).

Well about a week ago, Hope had her own timeline and just stopped nursing. It was very strange. I was/am a little upset, but I am glad it was her decision. I know a lot of mom's stop breastfeeding for different reasons, but for me, it would be selfish to stop for a personal reason. So it's good that it was her decision. So for the past week, Adam has been doing the bedtime routine so I could pump (yeah, just because she's done doesn't mean I am done). Adam loves the new bedtime routine. He could never do it all, because I would always nurse her right before bed. So I have been enjoying a glass of wine or a beer and of course a diet coke last Sunday night. It's wasn't as good as I remembered it. :(

So I didn't make my goal of 16 months, but I am very happy that Hope made the decision so I didn't have to. She is a big girl who is growing up before my very eyes.

1 comment:

  1. It is bittersweet and I had a hard time with nick not wanting it anymore/decrease in my supply at 10 months. Now I still feel conflicted.. but as long as you did it (14 months? 15? )however many is awesome!!! She is off to a great start.